Panel 1:
Setting: A corporate conference room with large windows. A large blue shark in a name tag labeled "FORGE" is enthusiastically addressing the room. A table is filled with cupcakes, each with a different word or phrase written with frosting. A sign behind the shark reads:
"WELCOME TO MANDATORY MINDFULNESS"
A smaller sign says:
"with FORGE (copyright)"
Forge (shark):
"My name is Forge. I am your Positivity Enrichment Consultant!"

Panel 2:
Setting: Same room. Forge is now joined by Milo the raccoon, holding a cupcake labeled “Delight.”
Forge (shouting):
"Now shout out your gratitude and choose your cupcake!"
Milo (smiling, holding cupcake):
"I frosted them with ground pine nuts and intention!"

Panel 3:
Setting: A new group is gathered around the cupcake table: a worried-looking Finley (goldfish), a skeptical black cat, and department head, Donna Lake.
Finley (anxiously):
"What if I choose wrong?"
"Does my mind get full and explode?"

Panel 4:
Setting: Close-up of Donna Lake holding a cupcake labeled “Quiet Escape.” A glowing aura surrounds it. The black cat looks at Donna and the cupcake in a pouncing position.
No dialogue.

Panel 5:
Setting: Back to Forge and the group. Forge is yelling energetically while characters shout their gratitudes.
Forge (shouting):
"Let me hear your gratitude!"
Goldfish:
"My bathtub!"
Other speech bubbles (unseen characters):
"Coffee!"
"Saturday!"
"Alphabetization!"
Behind Forge, Donna is seen exclaiming in shock- partially out of the frame.

Panel 6:
Setting: Close-up view from Donna’s perspective, holding a cupcake with frosting that reads:
"This is your circus, and these are your monkeys – enjoy."
Donna’s hands are scratched and slightly bleeding. Forge is in the background, still yelling. The black cat, following the glow emanating from the stolen “Quiet Escape” cupcake , sneaks out of the meeting.

CHOOSE YOUR STARTING POINT

CHAPTERS

Mandatory Mindfulness

From Donna’s Desk

Subject: Outside Consultants and the Art of Being Helped At

Corporate booked this. Not me. When I schedule a meeting, it has an agenda, an exit time, and far less gym-bro energy.

Milo, with the zeal of a camp counselor, volunteered to “add intention” to the snacks. Translation: he pulverized pine nuts like they’d wronged him and whispered blessings into the frosting. Adorable. Slightly litigable. I checked our EpiPen stash and thanked him for reminding me that sincerity, however crunchy, beats corporate frosting every time.

For the record, I love help. I’m just allergic to performative help: the kind that arrives with a drumline and departs with our Tuesday. So, for the next consultant who parachutes in:

  • Respect the clock. If you take two hours, give back two hours. Label it “We stole your Tuesday; here it is again.”

  • Ask what we’ve already tried. Honor it. Don’t rebrand it and invoice me.

To the ones who do it right: I see you. You listen first, fix one small thing, and leave us better than you found us.

Takeaways from today:

  • Gratitude isn’t loud. It doesn’t need a banner.

  • “Mandatory” and “mindfulness” should never share a sentence.

  • The right cupcake can be a tiny permission slip.

Your turn:

  • What’s the funniest “wellness” thing you’ve survived at work?

  • If your cupcake could say what you actually need this week, what would it say?

  • How do you practice quiet escape without disappearing from your team?

Drop a comment. Share your frosting. I’ll be at my desk, grateful for doors that close and raccoons who try.

Donna

#IamDonnaLake #MandatoryMindfulness #WorkplaceWellness #QuietLeadership #WorkplaceSatire #HelpWithoutTheHype

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4 thoughts on “Mandatory Mindfulness

  1. Wow, I think I might be Milo. I read every single cupcake and selected my top two. My cupcake would say, IV Drip with B6/B12. Also, I like how the Shark/Mindfulness coach is named FORGE.

  2. Good call on the vitamin tap, Kem! I wonder what Corporate would do with that…

  3. I practice quiet escape by keeping my mouth shut- if you know me, I like to joke around but sometimes need to just relax a moment!

    1. That’s a great strength, Alisa! Kudos to you for using your survival tools.

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