Verification Finley, a goldfish office worker, sits at a desk looking at a laptop. A message on the screen reads: "PASSWORD RESET FAILED. VERIFY YOUR IDENTITY."

A new message asks: "WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SAFETY PRECAUTION?" Finley beings typing the answer with one fin. Finley leans forward and types on the laptop with both fins, concentrating on his answer. Finley looks upward with an exaggerated eye roll as the laptop displays the messages: "INVALID" and "RESPONSE EXCEEDS EIGHT CHARACTERS."

CHOOSE YOUR STARTING POINT

CHAPTERS

Verification

Donna Lake Headshot

From Donna's Desk:

 

Subject: Security Questions

“What is your favorite safety precaution?”

For most people, this is a short answer.

For Finley, it is a calling.

The system wanted a single word. Finley wanted to submit a full emergency philosophy, with footnotes and potential for lamination.

I sympathize with both sides. The software needs limits. Finley needs a world where “situational awareness” is accepted as a love language.

This is the quiet battle of modern work: people trying to fit human (or aquatic) complexity into tiny boxes designed by someone who has never met a goldfish with compliance anxiety.

So I’m curious:

How do you keep your footing when the system asks for proof of identity, but refuses your personality?

Donna

2 thoughts on “Verification

  1. Bubba, Jarts Champion

    You approach the system like a medieval bard approaching a castle gate. The system, meanwhile, is a bored guard with a clipboard who says: “Password must contain one word, one number, one symbol, and zero personality. Also it expired yesterday.”
    You offer your worldview. It asks for your mother’s maiden name. You offer your situational awareness love language. It says “INVALID FORMAT.” You offer your soul. It says “TRY AGAIN IN 15 MINUTES.”
    This is not a battle of wits. This is a hostage negotiation with a toaster. There is the “key”, realizing you are competing against a brainless “Toaster”. Accept it and move on to the joy of actually living your life.

    1. Absolutely valid. I’m certain the staff would love nothing more than to move on, maybe even go outside and find out if the lawn they glimpse through the windows is real grass. Unfortunately, the machine must be fed and the doors don’t open out until it is. -Donna

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.